My bible study leader has a great saying… Why do I tell you stories? So you can feel better about yourself.
I have two reasons I decided to blog. The first one has to do with that saying. Too often we moms have a tendency to posture for one another, to look good. I find the result to be moms who feel ashamed of their mistakes and struggles as a parent. So why do I blog? So you can feel better about yourself.
Second reason: Being a stay at home mom has led me to discover, shockingly enough, that spending all day in a house with three kids five and under is not very intellectually stimulating. So I thought maybe trying to write a blog might be difficult enough that I will stop over analyzing every small detail of my life. It is purely for my own entertainment. I also wanted to have a place to store all my own entertaining stories about life with three kids (which I have entitled keeping the peace at home) and all the stories my hubby comes home with from life as a police officer (entitled keeping the peace abroad).
Which brings me to an important point. In this blog, like Dragnet, I have changed the names to protect the innocent (and not so innocent). I am also purposely ambiguous about where I live to protect my family and also my husband and his department. So if you know me, please don’t use our names or locations in any comments. Thanks!
Me Hmmm, random facts about me. I am a Christian. God rocks. I am a nerd, I love Felcia Day and her Youtube channel Geek and Sundry. I also play World of Warcraft. (Don’t judge me) I have also taken up training for various triathlons and half marathons. It has yet to help me lose much weight but there is always hope. I am introverted but social so I am a walking contradiction. I am also shockingly insecure at times. I have a phone phobia. I hate talking on the phone and would always rather text. I have a twisted sense of humor. If that bothers you…this isn’t the place for you.
Sir Smiley – my husband. He’s a cop, but he’s crazy funny and just crazy so he never strikes people as one. He’s a bit OCD, a trait which the oldest two children have inherited. (the jury is still out on the youngest)
Sasquatch – the nickname given our oldest for her large birthweight. (10 lbs) Ironically she’s a beanpole now. She is uber verbal and literally can’t ever seem to stop talking. She provides a running narrative of all we do…all the time.
Urpling – the nickname given the middle child for her constant trail of urp left in her wake once she learned to crawl. This one is a bit of a Diva, and may suffer from a hormonal imbalance. When she is happy she is the sweetest girl, but watch out because at any moment she may plummet into the depths of woe. She will also eat anything. We have bribed her to eat lasagna by promising her broccoli. Her conversation skills are lacking…to say the least…but she makes up for it with facial expressions.
King Toot – this seems self explanatory. He’s now one. We joked a out changing his nickname to vector. When he wants something…nothing will stop him. He is as active as Sasquatch and as stubborn as Urpling and ridiculously cute so he gets away with everything.
Important Notes!!!!This blog is not for the perfect parent. There will be jokes about how frustrating kids are, and also mistakes about my failures as a parent. I will joke about the stresses and difficulties of parenting. So if you find it distasteful to joke about such things…this is definitely not the blog for you. If you are hypersensitive about political correctness I suggest you move along. I’m not crude, I try to be respectful, but in the end I enjoy finding humor in all situations. Which means I will find police stories humorous that may well fit into various stereotypes including but not excluded to trailer parks, transients, drug addicts, prostitutes, etc. I tell real stories about real people with a humorous twist. I will not use their real names and these stories are not meant to have some deep meaning about society at large. But I find them funny…and this is my blog…so if you don’t like it you are welcome to leave. I moderate comments and will remove comments that I find in poor taste or which instigate arguments.
I usually keep it light but no guarantees.
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Update: So I have been blogging for 8 months now. I thought I should update this page. My oldest is almost 5, Urpling is now 3 and our youngest is now a year old. This blog has helped a lot with keeping a sense of humor in difficult situations. It has not deterred my over-obsessiveness and over analyzing of pretty much anything. But it has kept it from spewing onto Sir Smiley as much. I am slowly developing my own style of writing (whether that is a good thing or not remains to be seen) and right now that seems to include a lot of … I love using them to create those dramatic or comedic pauses I use in my head but struggle to translate onto paper…er…screen. (see, I used them right there!). Hopefully I can make it to a year!