You know you’re a mom when…
You have nightmares involving the kids becoming covered in mud no less than 5 minutes after having a bath and right before heading off to a formal gathering (like a wedding).
Shopping alone feels like a vacation.
Peeing alone feels like a vacation.
Pooping alone feels like a vacation.
Doing chores and yard work alone feels like a vacation.
You feel rested if you get to sleep 4 hours in a row or more.
It takes you an hour to get out the door to run even simple errands.
Tardiness is usually caused by a poop related incident, or other forms of outfit changing accidents (pee and urp come to mind).
You find yourself in arguments like, “No, that is NOT an elephant, that’s a cow”.
Someone pooping in a toilet is more exciting than winning the lottery.
Your kisses are magical and can heal all wounds.
You say “Don’t eat that” to objects such as leaves, rocks, food from the garbage, and dog poop from the yard.
Where at least once a day you feel like you have ruined your kids.
You wear urp and drool like it’s a new fragrance.
Managing to shower yourself and bathe your kids all on the same day is an accomplishment.
and now for the mushy one…….
You have the best job in the world.
Oh and Happy Birthday to Sir Smiley!