So Sir Smiley got a call for a subject with a knife. He arrived on the scene just after a fellow officer. Fellow officer stayed outside with the “perp” while Sir Smiley headed inside to interview the alleged victim. The “victim” immediately launched into a long tirade about past wrongs that had nothing to do with a knife being wielded in any way. She randomly started to remove her shirt to show him a tattoo of her family crest. Sir Smiley quickly and politely asked her to remain clothed. Finally Sir Smiley decided she needed some help getting to the point and asked if there was a knife involved. She thought for a bit, wandered over to a cabinet by the front door, dug around for a few minutes and pulled out a deeply buried knife. “With this!” she exclaimed. She then delved into GREAT detail about her relationship with the “perp”. Finally after another long tirade Sir Smiley asked if she wanted her boyfriend to leave and she agreed. Great. So Sir Smiley asked the “perp” if he wanted to leave. The “perp” was more than willing to leave the area, he just needed the keys to his truck. So Sir Smiley went up to the “victim” and asked her for the keys. She told him she didn’t have them. Back out again to the “perp”. The “perp” disagreed and said that the “victim” had taken the keys. She became more frustrating in her refusal cooperate with resolving the conflict, despite her claims otherwise. She claimed it was her truck even though the “perp” produced a title and registration that was solely under his name. Finally Sir Smiley gave up and asked the “perp” where he wanted to go, offering a ride to anywhere within reason. The “perp” agreed as long as they towed his truck. Awesome. Now the police would have no liability involving the car and the “perp” would be gone from the area. The other cop spotted the opportunity to leave scene and grabbed the “perp” and headed out, leaving Sir Smiley to wait for the tow truck. The victim waited inside her house. The tow truck arrived, and the tow guy got out and started to hook up the truck. The victim came running out of the house, shrieking at such a volume that caused the tow guy to run for cover. Sir Smiley told her to go back inside as she had now become disorderly. She refused, but went and stood in her front yard, screaming all the while at them all. Then she got on her cordless phone and the police officers could hear her saying into the phone, “Help me officer, the officers are stealing my car!”. That’s right, she called 911 on the officers who were towing the truck. Sir Smiley could hear the hot call come out over the radio. He got on the radio to clear the dispatcher to tell them the situation was okay, but as he did so the victim began screaming, “Help me, they’re killing me! I’m dying!” This was all the rest of the department could hear over the radio. After all that, they finally managed to get the truck towed and everyone in the precinct began responding including Sir Smiley’s boss, and boss’ boss. All in all and eventful evening.