Survivor

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Warning: I have been mulling over some deeper thoughts…so this post may have a tendency to be more serious than usual. You have been warned! As a mom of young children, I find day to day life can often become overwhelming. So I usually go into survival mode. Basically, I tell myself, “I just need to make it to naptime” or “I just need to hold it together until bedtime, then I can have a break.”. The problem is, I tend to start putting them to bed earlier than I should, or giving them a naptime at times they don’t need them. Now we have all had rough days. Kid up puking all night, dog ate a bunch of toys and had to go the vet, migraines, etc. There will always be days where I will think, “Is 5 too early to put them to bed?”. The problem I have noticed is I am going into survival mode almost every day. Instead of enjoying the moments, the mishaps, the chaos that is my life; I now tend to view my life as a to-do list that never seems to be finished. There is always clothes to be sorted, pictures to download, people to call, appointments to schedule (these all come from my present to-do list). But instead of just trusting God will help me get things done, I obsess over everything. The world will surely stop turning, my children will starve, and my husband will lose his sanity and have to be committed if I don’t have perfect control at all moments. This is of course a lie (although maybe not the part about my husband). When I think this way, it all becomes overwhelming and I just throw in the towel. I put them to bed, down for a nap, in front of a movie where I don’t have to deal with the fighting, stress or constant running around. But then I miss out on all the sweet moments too.

Basically, I’ve been pondering the parable in Matthew 25: 14-30. A man leaves the country and entrusts various sums of his money with three servants. 2 servants take his money and use it to make him more money. They take an active role in the treasures their master entrusted them with. The third servant went and buried the money in the dirt. He didn’t lose anything, but he never gained anything either. He went into survivor mode. God has entrusted me with many treasures…my three beautiful children, a loving and supportive husband, a comfortable home, a good church to be a part of. But too often I am like the third servant with these treasures. I bury them in the dirt, knowing they exist, but doing nothing with them. When I finish this life, I want to approach God at his throne with all the blessings He has given me, plus all the things I have done for Him with those blessings, To hear Him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant”. I do not want to approach Him and hand back what he gave me, having done nothing with them. Toss back what He gave me and have my only reward be a sarcastic slow clap from God. So my question is, which servant are you?

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