Dude…Where’s my Motorcycle?


Sir Smiley gets a call for a stolen vehicle. He and his partner, Heavy Metal, pull into a completely empty parking lot where a man is frantically waving them down as though he’s worried they won’t see him. This “victim of society” or VOS tells them that he needs to report his motorcycle stolen. He tells them it was stolen from an apartment a few blocks away. Now, they were in one city and when they collect his information, they discover he lives in a completely different city. VOS claims he was a visiting a friend a few blocks away. He says he left his bike at this friend’s house overnight. This morning VOS receives a call from “Jimmy” asking him why he sold his bike to “Flat-Top Frank”. VOS tells his friend he didn’t sell his bike. His friend responds by saying he saw “Flat-Top Frank” riding it around. So VOS now wants to report it stolen. Sir Smiley senses something is awry, so he informs VOS that he will have to sign a paper that advises him that it is a crime to falsely report a vehicle stolen. To which VOS responds by saying he is awaiting sentencing for drug problems and doesn’t want to sign any police papers as that would make him unpopular in the slammer. But after thinking for a moment he then reluctantly signs the paperwork. As he signs it, he mentions, “Oh by the way, if this guy says I sold him the bike, it’s not true…”. Heavy Metal and Sir Smiley exchange a look and then go in search of “Flat -Top Frank”. VOS tells them the bike was driven into “Flat-Top Frank’s” apartment. When they get there, three men who speak little English open the door. Sir Smiley asks if they can check the apartment for a motorcycle. The three men, looking very confused, agree. Sir Smiley and Heavy Metal, take a quick look through the tiny two bedroom apartment and see that the bike is not there. What a shock. They return to VOS, who exclaims that “Flat-Top Frank” is white and has a girlfriend. They double check the location and confirm they had visited the correct apartment. At this point, VOS’ friend calls, frantically wanting her vehicle back. Apparently she needed to be to work in about 5 minutes and VOS hadn’t bothered to return her vehicle to her in time. At this point it comes out that he has gotten a different friend’s car impounded for driving with a suspended license. Sir Smiley tells him he can’t drive home on a suspended license. Then they left him there to find his own ride home, having little doubt that they once again had served the greater good of the community…


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