Get me to the church…Part 2


Yesterday’s post brought to mind the poop fiasco that happened before the last wedding I attended. This one occurred while I was still pregnant with King Toot and only had the two girls in tow. But I was also halfway across the country in my in-law’s house, They were gone for the morning. Sir Smiley was in the wedding…so he had already left. I had the two girls down for a nap. I was at the bottom of the stairs, reading. I suddenly fell asleep (a malady that plagued me through all of my pregnancies) and woke up startled to realize that we were supposed to leave for the wedding in thirty minutes. I had not planned on this sudden nap, and still needed to bathe the girls and feed them some lunch. As I headed upstairs, I felt my stomach drop. There was a pile of poop at the top of the stairs, and the gate had been pulled off the wall and was laying haphazardly to the side. My first thought was, “They don’t have a dog…”. Further inspection revealed a puddle slowly leading to Urpling’s room, followed by more poop. By more poop I mean there was another pile, it was also smeared on the sheets, on the stuffed animals, and smeared over every inch of Urpling. Not only that, it was on bits of ripped up Kleenex where Urpling had apparently tried to clean up after herself. Thirty minutes and counting, and no idea where any cleaning supplies were. I threw Urpling in the tub with the water running, gathered all poop covered objects in the dirty sheets and threw those in the washing machine, and then collected all poop piles. I then called Sir Smiley, sobbing, to inquire as to where the cleaning supplies were. I think it went something like this:

Sit Smiley answers, “Hello?”
Silent sobbing.
“Honey, are you okay?”
More sobbing, “I was (sob) wondering (sob) if you knew where (sob) your mom kept (sob) the cleaning supplies?”
Sir Smiley, “No idea. What happened?”
Me, “I fell asleep…(sobs) I woke up..(more sobs) and Eve………….POOPED EVERYWHERE!” More sobbing
Sir Smiley, suppressing laughter, “I’m sorry honey! But I have to go, they’re taking pictures right now! I’ll call you right back!”
Sobbing, “O (sob) K”

Yeah….so after that I went on the hunt for cleaning supplies. I managed to dig up an old rag and some equally old resolve and scrub the floors to death. (did I mention this was all on carpeting?). After scrubbing enough where no smell was coming from the carpets even with my nose placed right up to the soiled areas, I then tended to Miss Poopface (er…I mean. Urpling) After scrubbing her, I got Sasquatch in there with her, cleaned them both and got them out. Then I cleaned the tub as best I could and then finished getting the girls ready. Luckily my sister-in-law showed up to my rescue and helped feed the girls while I got myself ready. Miraculously, we made it on time, and my mother-in-law informed me that I cleaned up so well she couldn’t figure out where the mess happened. Also, Sir Smiley did call right back, but I had found some resolve at that point and was hurriedly trying to clean at that point. Thank heavens for in-laws with a good sense of humor!


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