My kingdom for a tooth


King Toot is teething. It’s awesome (insert sarcasm font here). Some of the signs of teething? Low grade fevers, fussiness, not eating, not sleeping, runny nose, chewing on everything, and of course drool. Like I said, awesome right? Of course, these symptoms could also be due to a cold or illness. Some just happen with a baby anyway (all babies drool and chew on stuff). You start to get an inkling that they might be teething when the symptoms last for months. I swear, all my kids were teething for at least 6 months before those pearly whites finally broke through. These symptoms last forever, and the drool increases to an unprecedented scale. While all babies drool, there should be a special new designation for the quantity of drool that comes from a teething baby’s mouth. A lot, a ton, buckets full…none of these seem to describe it well. Every time he opens his mouth, it just pours out. You walk through the living room and their are wet spots. His shirt and bibs are always soaked, as are his sheets and blankets. Some ideas for describing this phenomenon I’ve found are: amassment, profusion, agglomeration, copious, and oversupply. I may need to start investing time in scientific research to find some type of useful purpose for drool and then patent it (and sell it). We’d be rich. Maybe invent a car that could run solely on a baby’s saliva. It would be the perfect family car. But so far I just carry around a large supply of bibs and shirts and burps cloths until those buggers finally push through.


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