Choking Hazards


Choking, the fear of all mothers. My four year old still doesn’t get popcorn as I’m sure it will lead to certain death. I cut up hotdogs into little bits. I will be honest. I am not a “helicopter mom”. I don’t hover very much, and try to give kids their freedom. But any mom who is honest will always worry. It is constantly in the back of your mind. King Toot is starting to pull himself up, so as I was showering today I suddenly wondered if he would fall out of his crib while I showered for 5 minutes. I digress. Choking is bad. With Sasquatch it was a bit easier to baby proof. Once she started scooting and crawling, I crawled around the house and scoured every inch of the house and put up anything that she might choke on. (rule of thumb is anything that can fit in a toilet paper roll is hazardous.). There are always a few mishaps, but she was the only one moving anything around. By the time King Toot has now started scooting I have a new problem. His sisters. They of course want to play with toys a baby shouldn’t have. They also dote on him and want to share their toys. So my first solution was to ban those toys to the girls’ room. You can guess how long that lasted before the girls we dragging those toys out to play in the living room. So now they are banned to upper shelves and closets until King Toot is a bit older. But unfortunately this house seems to have a choking hazard fairy. Running around and leaving bits of paper, cardboard, and little plastic pieces I have never seen in my life, for my baby to try and eat. Every night I search the house and confiscated any offending items. But it doesn’t matter, King Toot manages to find them and stick them in his mouth before I ever get a glimpse. If it’s not an evil fairy, it must be a sixth sense or something. His special gift is finding objects that are perfect esophagus sized bits that perfectly block his airway.
Sasquatch has become my canary in the mineshaft. She always comes running to tell me that King Toot, “has a choking hazard in his mouth.”. I may need to take a room, pad it all around, and have absolutely nothing in it; but even then I have the suspicion that he would be able to rip the stuffing out of the padding and get in his mouth in the time it takes me to pee. Lots of prayer will hopefully preserve this little boy with the talent for finding the dreaded “choking hazards”. At least until he’s old enough to bring on a new set of fears.

Note: After I wrote this, King Toot found a plastic grocery bag. OMG…where do these things come from?!


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