I am not super mom….that is not what this post is about. What this post IS about is my secret fantasy. Where I am shopping, going to a doctor appointment, or just running errands in general when some chemical is spilled on me and suddenly I develop superpowers. What superpowers? Well, since you asked…
I am a huge fan of Supernatural (*sighs…I see you judging me…don’t judge me!). In that show is an angel named Cass. We are skipping all theological discussions about all the ways a fictional horror show does not follow sound Biblical doctrine here, by the way. It’s make believe…not real…just laying that out there right now. I digress. Cass has the ability to teleport (or blink or whatever you want to call it…he can go from one place to another instantly). I want to do that. You see the baby across the room chewing on an electrical cord, or about to pull a dresser over on top of himself. Forget running..*poof* and you’re there! Even more than that though…Cass puts people to sleep just by touching their foreheads. Wow! Gimme that power please! Screaming kids and you’re about to lose it? Just a little tap and the house is peaceful again. So yeah…that’s my absolute favorite super power. Never have insomnia again. Just tap yourself and sleep better than a baby. Speaking of insomnia…Cass never has to sleep. How handy is that when you have three kids and none of them will nap or sleep at the same time. Not a big deal when you never get tired.
Moving on, Superman has a cool power…X-ray vision. Those moments when you are using the bathroom and it gets quiet…too quiet. Nothing good comes of a houseful of toddlers and babies making no sound. But you’re “busy”. So instead of rushing, you can just see through the walls and see if their getting into mischief. Also, the eye heating dealy. I mean, I know he uses it to burn and melt bad guys guns and stuff…but it would make cooking sooooo much faster. Superspeed would be pretty cool…cleaning and housework would take no time at all and I wod have more time to just have fun with my kids. Never a bad thing.
I don’t think having webs come out of my wrists like spiderman would be a good idea. It would be too tempting to bind my kids up when they’re driving me nuts. Better to leave that one out…but I could go for superhearing. I could hear what they’re doing on the other side of the house while I’m making dinner. Also, it would help when I’m on the phone. Kids are crying in the background (because that’s their favorite time to cry) but I can still hear what the person on the phone is saying!
I don’t think I need to mention the Incredible Hulk. I think I am already there. There are days where I think I have turned big and green. Best to leave that one alone too.
So how about it? What would be your special power?
Note: I asked Sir Smiley…he said he would want tracking capabilities. Know where the kids were at all times. Pretty good idea.