I have come to an important conclusion: my kids are ninjas. That, or their training to become ninjas. Either way, there is more and more evidence piling up that confirms this conclusion. When my kids are on a quest…or a mission…they have the skills of ninjas to accomplish it.
1. Lightening quick reflexes: I will preface this with the qualifier: when they want something. When these kids are on a mission, their speed is astounding. King Toot will pretend to give up the quest for a forbidden object and the second I relax, it is in his hands. It doesn’t matter how close I am to them, they are always faster. Of course, if the task is something I need, those skills disappear. Picking up, brushing their teeth, getting in the van….
2. Beware of the silence: They make no noise when they are on a mission. If for even a moment the house is quiet and peaceful, I know I have only moments before disaster strikes. Bathroom toilet paper unraveled, dog bowl overturned spilling water everywhere, wood from the fireplace eaten, even adding the appropriate bling to Daddy’s computer. (see exhibit A)
3. Karate Chop action: I have never been smacked so much in the face, stomach, arms, legs, and other misc body parts until I had children. I’ll be walking along, blissfully unaware and then *bam!*. a foot to the face from nowhere. A body slam while reading a book, crushing weight applied to my legs while playing with King Toot, even yesterday Urpling “hugged” me and managed to give me two fat lips…one was even bleeding.
4. Moves that defy gravity: I’m telling you, the laws of gravity do not apply to my kids. They leap from heights even Sir Smiley wouldn’t attempt and get up to try to do it again. (and no, I don’t let them do this…refer to #2 if you need more explanation) They smack each other, steam roll their brother, even King Toot did a weird somersault/flip dealy while trying to walk and laughed when he was done. Things that should cause injury of some sort are laughed off. But of course if a sibling bumps into them suddenly their wounds are mortal and they are clutched in the throes of agony. I do not exaggerate.
I’m sure there is more evidenceI haven’t thought of. But these seem adequate enough proof that my kids are training to be ninjas. I shudder to think what they’ll be capable of when they get older…