The Great Outdoors

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I was going to be lazy and just repost my political post in honor of elections tomorrow. (Be sure to vote!) (see post here) (yeah, I just put three parentheses in a row…I suck at grammar…if you haven’t figure that out by now than you must too.) But instead my experiences today changed my mind. This post is to answer the question, “Why not just take your kids outside to play?” Well, today is an excellent example of why. Now, when your kids are older, the outdoors is great and fun. Especially with a nice yard like we have. No loading the kids in the van or bringing all the necessary items with you…fun is merely a doorway away. Where we live it tends to be warmish in the summer (insert sarcasm font here). So outside is something to be avoided…but now it’s beautiful out and so the outdoors calls to my kids. I heeded the call, put various types of footwear on my children, and out we went. King Toot is now of the age that he is no longer content to sit and watch. He MUST be part of the action. Grass weirds him out to the nth degree, so I figured his grass phobia would keep him on the cement patio and work as a type of containment. But my brilliant plan failed to take into account his deep need to be with his sisters and how that would play into the equation. The result: need to be with sisters > fear of grass. His compromise was to stay off his knees and do a weird sort of four legged crawl. He is also teething, which means anything and everything goes straight into the mouth. On the menu today was various leaves, grass, and an assortment of rocks. After ridding him of all that I went to deal with his sisters. We have a wonderful play set in our yard and a porch swing, but they had played with that while I was policing King Toot and removing various objects from his mouth. They were now done with those items and had instead found that the hole dug by the dogs filled with mud was more to their liking at the moment. As I casually reminded them that there was a perfectly good slide and swings to play on, King Toot found something new to put in his mouth…dog poo. Yep. After having so carefully combed the yard for any sign of fecal matter he found the one pebble sized bit of poop and put in his mouth before I could stop him. I proceeded to puke in my mouth a little as I ran to him and scrubbed his mouth out with a blanket. I called the girls to go inside. Sasquatch was upset because there was mud on her shoes (gee, I wonder how that happened?) and started picking it off with her fingers. So I’m holding King Toot who has poop in his mouth, Sasquatch who now has mud all over her shoes and hands…and then Urpling falls down and scrapes her knee and starts bleeding and shrieking like she’s dying. Needless to say that after Sasquatch removed her shoes we all headed inside and into the tub, where I scrubbed them all (including King Toot’s mouth). And that is why I have a love/hate relationship with the great outdoors.

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