People I hope were too drunk to vote…


I am a little late, but these all happened the same night. The night before elections. These are people I hope were too drunk to vote:

Person Number One: He calls in to report that several subjects robbed him. After the call came out the responding officer asked dispatch what this “stuff” was. The reply came back, his wallet and his marijuana was stolen. Not only that, but after officers arrived they discovered he had been trespassed from the complex he was now in…numerous times. So naturally instead of getting his marijuana back he gets arrested for trespassing instead. The moral of this story: don’t go to a complex you’re banned from and your marijuana won’t be stolen while you are arrested.

Person Number Two: A fellow officer was directing traffic away from a fatal car accident in front of a local gas station. While there, a woman runs from the gas station carrying beer. A clerk is following her out and seeing the officer yells, “She stole that beer!” The officer tells her to put down the beer and she yells back, “No! It’s mine!” Apparently she really thought possession was 9/10s of the rule. He arrested her (duh) and asked her if she had noticed the cops out front. Her response,”I thought you were too busy!”

Person Number Three: Some guy gets in a cab claiming to have money and gets in the cab. They drive around for a bit until the cab driver realized he didn’t really have a set destination. Turns out he had no money but thought that would be okay since they had such a nice conversation. He finally offers his new Smartphone in exchange for the ride and the driver accepts.

Yeah…so not sure how to cleverly end this post so….the end.


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