Warning: This is a rant. A confession of my struggles. If you have it all together as a parent, this post is probably not for you, This is the place of unmet hopes…enter at your own risk.
To be honest, there is an image in my head. It is an image of how I want my day to go. I plan and then plan some more. I have time set aside to read my Bible and start the day off strong. I set aside time to spend with each kid so they can have some mommy time. I try to have some kind of craft or activity planned, and have it involve what they’re learning in Sunday School or Awana. I have some time set aside to get basic chores done so the house continues to function. It also includes some time with Sir Smiley and time for myself. I have the meals planned, healthy ones (or at least semi healthy) and plenty of books to read with the kids to help with their language development. But my actual days never seem to match the ones in my head. First off, in my head we are happy. Actually enjoying each other’s company and have lots of fun. I patiently deal with any little squabbles and dish out firm and just discipline.
But this is often not the case. I start off by usually waking up and feeding King Toot. But instead of getting up like a planned and accomplishing some chores and a nice quiet study time with God, I look at King Toot and the girls sleeping and decide that looks pretty darn good. So back to bed I go. I wake up and hour or so later feeling more rested and tell myself it’s okay…I obviously needed the extra rest. At this point, the girls have gotten up and Sasquatch has used her technology skills to turn on her favorite DVD. So right off the bat the girls are watching TV and I have missed and hour or so of the day I had planned to use. I feel a slight twinge of guilt but gallantly push ahead and decide that it is time to move forward and not look back. I do a quiet time, but now it’s so late the kids are fussy and want breakfast. So I speed read and then list off some needs to God and then start to make breakfast. By this point the kids are whining about everything. Someone looked at them funny…Urpling is breathing the same air as Sasquatch and how dare she! I successfully navigate all the spats calmly and get breakfast on the table and breath a sigh of relief. But King Toot has taken to protesting his breakfasts and no matter what I make he nibbles at it for about 3 seconds then starts throwing it and his sippy cup around making a massive mess while screaming and wailing. Usually this is the time Sir Smiley gets up. Coincidence? Doubtful. I have had a few bites of breakfast and then spend the rest of the time entertaining King Toot.
From here things go down hill fast. The kids start acting tired and whiney so then it’s the dilemma of whether to put them to bed early and have a later lunch or try to make them last another couple hours and put them down….for a nap…after lunch. It seems whichever I choose is wrong. The day slowly dissolves into a rush of attempts at various chores that seem to be piling up, getting Sir Smiley out the door for work, and trying to maintain a peaceful demeanor as the world slowly devolves into chaos around me. When the kids are finally quiet, I no longer feel up for finishing chores and instead waste an insupportable amount of time surfing Facebook, twitter, and other such meaningless tasks, or killing various creatures on World or Warcraft. Usually after a half hour break someone is back up needing something. Around this time everyone decides to poop and make the house smell awesome (sarcasm font here). Then I try an activity but it usually is met with Urpling wandering off after her two minute attention span is done, King Toot trying to eat various materials or crying because he can’t reach the materials to eat them, and Sasquatch yelling “No!” any time either of her siblings come within a ten yard radius of where she is…as this apparently means they are plotting to destroy her work. (which, in all fairness, is the case about 80% of the time).
By the time this is done I have no desire to cook and I just pray for the day to be over. I then resort to hot dogs or Mac and Cheese for dinner with some fruit to pretend it’s healthy. Then I feel guilt because I am obviously a horrible mother as I am filling my kids with crap, losing my temper, allowing them to watch TV, and most definitely not cherishing these moments. So I try to capture a few moments on camera so I have something to look back on. But as none of them will sit still long enough or start crying anytime I snap a picture, I give up on that. Then I try to get them to help clean up, but usually end up picking up toys myself while chiding (and by chiding I mean yelling things like, “how hard is it to pick up a few toys to help me?” or “What’s wrong with you? Why do you act like a pack of wild animals?”, etc.) the girls for not helping as they run around and sit on each other (their new favorite game ever). King Toot crawls around next to me and pulls out what I put away and cries if I stand up. I finally read them a book where Urpling keeps turning the pages after three words and Sasquatch yells at her. Then off to bed they go and I look at the disaster of a house and think, “I’ll just go to bed early and then I’ll have more energy to clean this up tomorrow.” So here I sit, typing on my blog while all my kids toys have been vomited all over every surface. I will probably just go to bed without picking up, and then one of the dogs will eat some of the toys and puke all over the floor, ensuring my day starts off wonderfully tomorrow. Thank goodness Sir Smiley is off tomorrow to help preserve my sanity.