Keeping the peace or keeping it crazy?

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Today was one of those days. Not in the normal my kids are driving me crazy way. More along the lines of my kids are crazy. It started off normal. We had our Christmas production at church this morning. The girls were adorable and sang. King Toot actually was quiet long enough for me to watch them sing their song before I needed to remove him from the sanctuary. All in all I would consider it a success. They took a nap that was definitely too short, during which the first odd thing happened. The neighbor kids across the street were walking by and one pointed to our house and told the others, “That’s where the bad man lives.” This cracked me up as I can only assume someone told him my husband catches bad guys and he misunderstood. Whatever, Sir Smiley is far from intimidating so it is the only explanation I could come up with. Right after that came sobbing and grunting and wailing coming from….the bathroom. I will leave the rest of that explanation to your imagination except it involved the toilet and Sasquatch. After all this, Urpling and King Toot wake up and we decide to make Christmas cookies. Here’s where everything goes wonky and my only explanation is that I think Pillsbury lines their cookie dough with crack…it’s the only explanation I can come up with. First…they are addicting. Second…my kids went crazy. They decorated their cookies after we baked them…while dinner was cooking. Then we ate dinner together.

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There has to be some rule that Christmas cookies are a staple of a well balanced diet in the month of December. I will let you guess which one was decorated by Sasquatch and which one Uprling decorated. I digress. Mistake number one…letting them eat those cookies after 1pm.
They then sat on my lap and watched Brave again and it was wonderful as my two girls snuggled in my lap for over and hour. How naive I was, how unsuspecting.
Then Sasquatch suddenly announces, “I want to be naked.” She then proceeds to strip down to nothing and her sister follows suit. I am collecting their clothes and finding some pjs to stick them in when I hear from the living room…”(King Toot) should be naked too!” Dropped everything to run in and rescue their brother as they try to rip his onesie off of him. I then feel something against my arm and turn to look…and discover Sasquatch’s bare butt pressed against me. I squeal (literally) and she laughs and laughs and laughs and starts chasing me around….with her butt. Urpling is still running around nude as well…and decides she needs to play with the truck King Toot was using. So she pushes him over, and literally barrel rolls him across the living room and then comes back to the truck and starts to play with it. All the while I am trying to pin down Sasquatch and get her clothes on her. By this point King Toot is mad…and tired…so I decide it would be better in general if I just put him to bed (or put him away as Sir Smiley likes to say) first. Once he’s in bed I managed to calm the girls down by reading numerous books. Then I finally put them to bed and now all is quiet. The cherry on top, however, was the addition to our nativity scene I noticed after I put them all to bed…

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What’s a nativity scene without Tigger I ask you?

Note: consider this your warning about Pillsbury sugar cookies…

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