Criminal Minds is an oxymoron…


Finally, I have managed to drag another police story out of Sir Smiley! It really could be entitled, “10 ways to get caught” or “crime fighting for dummies”. Two separate incidents, same day, where the crime practically solved itself.

Michigan calls and wants Sir Smiley’s PD to go find a guy at a specific address to extradite him. So Sir Smiley and some coworkers go to ring the doorbell. First they get the history on the guy. Then they visit the house. All was quiet, but there was the tell-tale foil lined windows. It was a typical CHUDly house (citizens having urban difficulties). No one is home so they pack it up to head out. Sir Smiley checks with the neighbor and she didn’t know anything about the house or its occupants. But she tells her son who then tells the occupant of the house, when he gets home, that the police were looking for him.
Fast forward to later in the evening and Sir Smiley is advised by the radio supervisor that the occupant may be home. It seems they had received a call asking why they were at the CHUDly house. When they asked for his name he promptly cussed them out and hung up. Apparently the house’s occupant called the police to find out why the cops were there. So Sir Smiley goes to check on him and sure enough the guy was trying to flee his home and they caught him. What better way to clue the cops in that your home than to call them and practically tell them?

Same night, shoplifting call comes through. The shoplifter fled the scene and was spotted first at a furniture store, then north at a trailer park, then south to another trailer, east over the fence…all the while slowly ditching stolen clothes…then Sir Smiley finally caught up with him a few blocks away. As they approach him he starts yelling, “I stole those clothes to give to my dope dealer!” (all but negating the need to have witnesses ID him) Then when they found his needles he freely explains that he used those to shoot up heroin, so no need to prove that he used them for drug use.

This only goes to show…Criminal Minds is an oxymoron.


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