An FYI about your FYI about an FYI…

Standard

A response to the FYI post and responses flooding the Internet about Mrs. Hall.
Don’t know what I’m talking about? Here is the original post. Here is one of the responses I don’t agree with. Here is the response I have found to be most objective and fair…and yet still biased.

I think everyone loves to be right. Everyone loves to feel they’ve got it all figured out. So everyone sits on a judgement seat thinking they know best. I am here to say…I don’t know it all. I don’t have it all figured out. I just have a few basic things I firmly believe and the rest comes from trial and error.

As a parent, my primary goal is to protect. I don’t want my child to experience pain, or heartache, or anything like that. But the fact remains, that they will…actually must…experience these things. It is what causes us to learn and grow. These bloggers all have one thing in common. In their zeal to defend their children they start to point fingers at what others should do. But I will not place the responsibility on the “other” person. Male or female, young or old, bully or victim…the fact remains I can only control my own actions and no one else’s (not even my own children’s…but don’t tell them that).

The problem with Mrs. Hall’s post, and many of the responses is not necessarily what they say about the other person. It’s the fact that they all address how everyone else should act…instead of how they want their own children to act. I do believe that when girls dress provocatively, it will cause a gut reaction in the opposite sex. Dressing provocatively, low cleavage, shorts that work more as underwear, tank tops that cover less than a bikini…these do not reflect a person’s style. Unless your style is to sell your body. I would hope my daughter’s will not need mini skirts and low swooping necklines in order to express themselves. I do expect them to dress in a way that, while attractive, also is considerate of the fact that men are very visual…in ways we females cannot even understand.
That said, my son will always understand that while he can’t control how girls dress…he can control his thoughts and reactions. His responsibility is to still treat every girl with respect and dignity. A unique and beautiful creation of God. I will not blame others for how my children behave.

I love that Mrs. Hall sits with her family and checks their social media. I read a response post that accused her of sitting with her family and condemning all the pictures…like they were doing it to demean the girls who posted. While Mrs. Hall is not clear about how exactly she went through each post, at least she is checking! When did the idea of checking your children’s online activity become a bad thing? Kudos to her for protecting her children! Again, the responsibility is hers to filter out those images. If someone is posting constant pictures that are causing issues for my son in how he treats her will I block her? No idea. I do know that every time I say I will never or will always do something, God comes along and humbles me. I don’t know everything, and I know very little about what these pictures actually looked like. They may have been shocking, or maybe not. But I do know that I will talk to my son and ask him to really think about how these types of images are affecting him…and see if maybe they do need to be blocked. Not to demean the girl or put her down, but to protect her image in my son’s eyes. And that, I don’t see as a negative thing.

As for saying you will be tolerant and accepting. I call bull crap. No one, I repeat no one, is tolerant and accepting. Everyone has a line they will not cross. One of the responses was so ironic I was amazed they didn’t see it. They outed Mrs. Hall publicly for being self righteous and having a double standard and being a hypocrite because she is judging girls based on one Facebook photo…but then berated her based on one blog post. This is the picture of intolerance and lack of acceptance. I reserve the right to guide my children to be people of integrity and respect. They will not tolerate inappropriate behavior…like driving drunk, acts of hate, bitterness, etc. They WILL be respectful and loving towards those they disagree with. But I will step in when I see things that are leading them down a path that will cause more harm than good. The judgement on Mrs. Hall for doing the same is bewildering to me.

So, basically, we all need to set the ego aside. Instead of focusing on how what other’s do affect us…we need to focus on how what we do affects others instead. Imagine what the world would be like if that happened.

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