Quotables Part Two

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So….it’s been craziness yet again (more on this in tomorrow’s post) so instead of an actual post I will now update my Quotables section. So for your enjoyment…some more of my version of Kids Say the Darndest things…

Urpling is picking the marshmallows out of her Lucky Charms cereal with her fingers and eating them… Me – “(Urpling), don’t just eat the marshmallows…use your spoon to eat.” Urpling pauses, then sets the marshmallow she was holding on her spoon and eats it. (2.5 years)

Sasquatch holds up a movie, “It’s Cars!”
Me, “No, it’s Madagascar.”
Sasquatch, “Yeah! My gas car!” (4 years)

(SPOILER ALERT)The evil stepmother falls to her death in the movie Tangled. Sasquatch looks at me and says, “and that’s the end of the story!” (4 years)

Grandma covers her eyes and counts for hide and seek, “…6, 7, 8, 9, 10! Where’s (Sasquatch)?”
Sasquatch jumps out of her hiding place yelling, “Here I am!” (4 years)

Sasquatch is talking to Sir Smiley about buying paints and painting him pictures.
Sir Smiley, “Someday you could be an artist if you like.”
Sasquatch, “Yeah, well it’s almost time for bed.” (4.5 years)

(for you Dora watchers…whether voluntary or involuntary) Sasquatch finds and old fashioned bike horn at the bike horn and squeezes it. Then she announces to the entire bike store, “That’s how you wake up the big red chicken!” (4.5 years)

While reading Goodnight Moon I point to the elephant and ask Urpling, “What sound does an elephant make?” She responds without hesitation, “Meow!” (2.5 years)

I look at Sasquatch and say, “You’re adorable, do you know that?”
She responds, “Yup. and pretty.” 4.5 years)

Me, “What do you want for lunch?”
Sasquatch, “A turkey sandwich with ham. But no ham.”
Me, “A turkey sandwich it is then.”

Playing Go Fish with Sasquatch…
Sasquatch draws a card and shows it to me.
Sir Smiley, “Don’t show Mommy your card.”
Sasquatch does it again.
Sir Smiley, “You can’t show Mommy your card!”
As Sasquatch draws a third card, Sir Smiley reminds her: “Remember, do NOT show Mommy your card!”
Sasquatch puts the third card straight into her hand and then exclaims, “Look Daddy! Now I have TWO fishes!” (4.5 years)

Sasquatch, “I’m nice!”
Me, “Yes you are!”
Sasquatch, “Mmhmm! I’m nice, and pretty, and funny.” (4.5 years)

At breakfast I glance over to see Sasquatch has her nightgown over her head.
Sasquatch, “Don’t worry Mommy. I’m only showing my panties to myself!” (4.5 years)

Urpling at lunch, “I don’t want peanut butter and jelly!”
Me, “Well, what do you want?”
Urpling, “Ummmm….cookies!” (3 years)

At the end of Aladdin, when the Genie is set free, Sasquatch looks at me and says, “The Genie can’t fit in his bottle anymore…because he’s three!” while holding up three fingers. (4.5 years)

Sasquatch looks at her hands and says, “I have extra fingers, but they match!” (4.5 years)

Sasquatch, “This house is a heaven house!”
Me feeling flattered…”Yeah?”
Sasquatch, “Yep, because it’s warm and happy…and it has fans!” (4.5 years)

During a wind storm Sasquatch looks out at all the blowing objects and says, “The whole world is dancing!” (5 years)

Sasquatch, seeing all the icicle style Christmas lights says, “Christmas lights look like pixie dust!” (5 years)

During the Advent service at church our family did the lighting of the candles. Sasquatch was supposed to say, “God is hope” but instead she grabbed the mic and stated to the whole church, “God is sin!”

Me, “Who would like to say grace?”
Sasquatch, “Me!”
Me, “Okay! Everyone fold your hands and close your eyes!”
Sasquatch, “Grace!”
Long pause…”Okay then…” (5 years)

Sasquatch, “Hy husband’s name is David!”
Me, “Really?”
Sasquatch, “Yeah! He doesn’t like to be my husband, but I like to be his wife!” (5 years)

Sasquatch, “Mommy, I don’t hate this dinner!”
Me, “Thanks…I think…” (5 years)

There. I am now caught up. Keep in mind, these are merely the comments my kids say that I actually remember to write down. There are plenty of gems that are lost in the craziness of each day. Kids do say the darndest things…

Things I never thought I’d say…

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As a mom of several young kids, I find myself saying things I hadn’t really thought I would ever need to say. So today I’ve included some gems for your enjoyment.

Don’t walk around with your eyes closed.

Don’t play in the dog bowl.

We don’t smear our food all over our arms.

I am not Bollito the pony. You may not ride me.

No, we don’t wash our hands in juice.

That chair is not a hat.

We don’t put our food on our feet.

Please don’t eat tin foil.

No, don’t eat the bubbles.

That glue stick is not chapstick.

I’m sure there will be many more fun little things I say in the future. This is definitely not the end.

Quotables Part 1

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I have a notebook I have named Quotables. I started it when Sasquatch was about 2. Being such a verbal kid she was saying hilarious things that I didn’t want to forget. I am including my favorites here. I’ll add to it occasionally when I have time. I’ve included the age at the end of each quote to help put them in context.

  • For the third day in a row we find stuffed animals in our shower. Sasquatch looks at them and says “gonna take a shower” (2 years)
  • While I made sandwiches, Sasquatch spun in a circle until she crashed into the cupboards. She got up and started twirling again. But after a second she stopped, said “that’s enough” and sat down. (2 years)
  • Sasquatch counting chips with Sir Smiley, “1, 2, 3, 4. Yay! 2 chips! (2 years)
  • “She’s taking a bath” says Sasquatch to her last cheerio floating in milk. (2 years)
  • “It’s Jesus!” says Sasquatch pointing at a picture of Kevin Garnett on a Wheaties box. (2 years)
  • After straining and grunting on the toilet, Sasquatch looks at me and solemnly tells me, “It’s too hard!” (2 years)
  • While grocery shopping Sasquatch goes up to some cucumbers, fondles them while saying, “Oooooooo, that’s nice!” (2 years)
  • Me, “It’s hot outside!”. Sasquatch “Better blow on it Mommy!” (2 years)
  • Sasquatch, “What’s that?”. Me, “That’s a pear.”. Sasquatch, “Oh, a carrot!” (2.5 years)
  • We meet my parents at a restaurant. Sasquatch walks up to them, gestures to me and says, “This is my mom.” (3 years)
  • Me to Sir Smiley, “He was a tough nut to crack!”. Sasquatch, “No to crack!” (3 years)
  • Sasquatch has her dolls lined up facing the wall. I ask her what they’re doing and she says, “They’re crying. They’re naughty.”. (3 years)
  • While I am trying to talk to Sir Smiley, Sasquatch is running around “singing” at the top of her lungs. I tell her she needs to sing quietly. She looks at me with a stern look and says, “I’m talking to God!”. Then she keeps singing loudly as she walks out the room. (3.5)
  • First time working on verses for Cubbies: Me, “Can you say ‘God loved us?'”Sasquatch, “Nope, he doesn’t”Me, “God loved us.”Sasquatch, “Yeah he does!”Me, “Can you say ‘Sent his son?'”Sasquatch, “That would be fun! Daddy, do you want to go to the sun?”Me, “Can you say ‘God loved us?'”Sasquatch, “I just want to go to the Y”. (3.5)
  • Sasquatch, “Mommy, there was a booger coming it my nose but I put it back in” (4 years)
  • Sasquatch, “My baby giraffe is obstructed” (4 years)
  • Sir Smiley, “What kind of money is that over there?”. Sasquatch, “quarters and diamonds!” (4 years)
  • Sir Smiley, “Can you say ‘done’?”. Urpling, “go!” (2 years)
  • Sasquatch sings the itsy bitsy spider. After she finishes she yells “Amen!” (4 years)